Greetings!
Now That'sWriting
This month's "Now That's Writing"
showcases the skills of R.D. Wingfield in his
Jack Frost mystery Night
Frost.
There are three people in this scene:
Detective Inspector Frost, the police
sergeant, and the new guy on his first day
(Gilmore). Mullett is Divisional
Commander (everyone's boss).
Rain blew in from the lobby doors as a
scruffy figure in a dripping mac pushed
through. He peeled a sodden maroon scarf from
his neck and wrung it out. "It's peeing down
out there," he announced, then his nose
twitched. "Disinfectant and perfume. This
place stinks like a tart's slop-bucket."
"The disinfectant is from the cleaners," the
sergeant informed him. "We had drunks
throwing up all over the place last night.
And the poncey scent is from the new boy's
aftershave." He jerked his head at Gilmore,
who scowled back. "Mr. Mullett's been asking
for you."
"He's always asking for me. I think he
fancies me. He likes a bit of rough." He
unbuttoned his mac to expose a crumpled blue
suit with two buttons missing. The red tie
beneath the frayed shirt collar had a tight,
greasy knot and looked as if it had been put
on by being pulled over his neck like a
noose. He turned to Gilmore and held out a
nicotine-stained hand. "I'm Detective
Inspector Jack Frost."
This is the first time we meet Frost in this
book, and WOW! What a picture of him! He's
barely said a word, but from his skimpy speech we
already know him. He's flippant and irreverent
("He's always
asking for me. I think he fancies me. He
likes a bit of rough."), observant (his nose
correctly identifies three odors), and earthy
("a tart's slop-bucket").
If you were ever looking for examples of
"Show, don't tell," Wingfield is your author! He
offers us a few lines of dialogue that
demonstrate what a smart, mouthy, confident,
worldly, shrewd, experienced cop would say.
But there's more! Wingfield's description of
Frost's appearance doesn't merely tell: it
shows us where his priorities lie. The good
detective inspector is always cutting corners
when it comes to
organization and procedure (and grooming),
but he's the guy
to have on your side when there's trouble.
Good cops come in all flavors.
Now
that's writing!
--Paula B.
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